CONTINUITIES

stuff ill GET TO EVENTUALLY: idw2, rescue bots, beast wars, armada, headmasters, marvel, dreamwave

stuff i dont wanna see: the rest of earthspark, robots in disguise (2015), energon, cybertron, exiles, retribution

(listed from my favourite to my least favourite)

mtmte/lost light - perfect. amazing. showstopping. transformers at its best. shouldve kept going forever. the night i finished it i genuinely couldnt sleep because i was thinking about it so hard. mtmte is the best thing to ever come out of this franchise.

eugenesis - maybe eugenesis shouldnt count, but its really good and this is my house i can do what i want. eugenesis is an insane book. its amazing. if i think about quark and rev-tone, or wheeljack and sygnet, or nightbeat, or prowl too hard im going to have a heart attack and die. i just want my dear darling characters to be happy. but they never will be. james roberts has forbid it. i usually dont find quintesson stuff too interesting, but eugenesis does it REALLY well. the plot is sooo fun, and i loove the twist at the end. gooood fucken book <3

windblade/til all are one - i really love windblade as a character. shes trying so hard to just do her job and be a good person. in a continuity full of bonkers action and really complicated lore, its so nice to have a shorter story about something simple, a woman finding her voice and learning to stand up for herself in a world that does not respect her. it also contains THE most transgender incarnation of starscream to date, hoooly shit. i really love mairghread scotts letter at end of the annual, it always has me tearing up. good comic.......

transformers one - good god they finally managed to make a good version of optimus and megatrons backstory! an AMAZING version in fact!!! ouhh its so good. its SO good. go watch osps detail diatribe about it NOW. im so mad theres no plans for sequels. im enraged. im going to be angry about this for the rest of my life

cyberverse - ohhh i LOVE cyberverse!! anyone who tells you cyberverse is bad is a horrible evil liar! cyberverse is the best transformers cartoon. the plot? nonsensical. the tone? wildly inconsistent. but the CHARACTERS? ohh the characters. rather than trying to settle on a smaller core cast, cyberverse really leans into the fact that transformers has one william characters. i also really love how it groups up characters who dont tend to get put together: arcee and grimlock; hot rod, bumblebee, and cheetor; wheeljack and shockwave. it also has SLIPSTREAM!! OUGHHH I LOOOOOVE SLIPSTREAM SOOO MUCH. the show peaks in the first half of season three, when it shoves hot rod into the Torment Nexus to Suffer and also soundwave, clobber, dead end, and some others are there too.

prime - without a doubt the horniest transformers cartoon, my word the tfp polycule is insane. it was also my first transformers cartoon, so im biased. it manages to accomplish things few other transformers cartoon can: having a Good Plot and Strong Characters. it also has MIKO! i love miko a lot, she and bulkhead are so good. primes decepticons are some of the best to grace this franchise, so much so that one of the best episodes of the show is the one that features zero autobots. unfortunately, prime loses points for a rushed third season and jack derby. fucking hate jack derby.

bumblebee - lovely film! delightful film! proves that you can have a transformers thing mostly focused on human characters that isnt bad! proves that you can have a live action transformers film that isnt bad!!!!!!! bumblebee is adorable <3

energon universe - i suppose this ranking is liable to change as the comics are still ongoing, but as of now i am loving them. the main transformers comic is very heavily g1 cartoon-inspired, but it still keeps it fresh and interesting. optimus is at his peak sad father, and i LOVE it. its starscream backstory is also AMAZING, theres not one issue in which he does not suffer horribly. i also really appreciate how long it took for megatron to return, they resisted the urge to have his show up immediately because hes the iconic villain and instead let the tension build. its great!

i wont speak about void rivals much as it is not Hugely transformers-related, hot rod and springer are just kinda there (and i wont speak about gi joe at all because i havent read it.) i will just say that it is great, im really enjoying it, and i wish all the fan content wasnt just about hot rod and springer yeah theyre lovely but what about darak and solila! what about the actual plot and main characters! cmon!!

the rest of idw1 - idw1 is a weird weird read, it has so many ups and downs. ive talked about my favourite parts, but theres absolutely great stuff in the rest of the continuity too. last stand of the wreckers and spotlight: megatron are easily s tier (nick roche is utterly carrying this comic run.) all hail megatron, which was my introduction to the wild world of transformers comics, is also fantastic and invented DRIFT, with a lot of themes that would be further explored in mtmte. speaking of things further explored in mtmte, hot rod/rodimus is CONSISTENTLY amazing. no matter the quality of the comic, you can always rely on rodimus to be done so well. he is the best character in this continuity. also, i think the -ations trilogy was a great start, letting things start slow and relatively low-stakes to give room for the drama to build across the continuitys almost fifteen-year run (AS LONG AS YOU INGORE STORMBRINGER. JUST. IGNORE IT.)

that being said, when the comics are bad theyre Bad. the worst of it comes in phase 1, with its boring plots that drag on and on and characterisations that change massively between writers (looking at you, prowl and optimus.) the dead universe plot especially was confusing, boring, and didnt end til halfway through phase 2. and then theres phase 3s hasbro universe, which was a complete mess of crossovers between franchises no one has cared about since the 80s and really soured the earth-side of the plot

id say its Mostly good, but id only recommend the whole continuity to someone if they share my madness. theres just. So much. and while a lot of it is wonderful, quite a bit is. Not

animated - ill be honest i dont remember animated that well? i remember really enjoying it, but theres only like two episodes i remember in any detail. which probably means its a good but forgettable show plot-wise. this is made no better by its rushed third season, which im still so bitter about. i really like how different its take on transformers lore is. though i dont think it always works, i respect it for changing things up not just doing the same again. animated really shines in its cast (for the most part, cough cough bumblebee.) i especially adore prowl, jazz, and starscream, and sari is one of my favourite transformers humans.

the transformers: the movie - its a completely different feeling watching this on its own vs watching it right after g1 season two. its just SUCH a 180 from the cartoons tone, not to mention the tonal whiplash going from scenes of characters dying to more goofy hijinks. its fantastic. i love it for inventing hot rod, and also its killer animation and soundtrack

g1 (season 2) - the g1 cartoon at its best. its an absolute delight, just silly goofy fun. theres not many episodes that stand out as Amazing, but also practically none that are bad. optimus and starscream are really the highlights, theyre consistently great

g1 (season 3) - i find season three fascinating. you have a silly kids show, and then a film that murders the entire cast. how do you possibly follow that up? with some difficulty, apparently. season three is Flawed. the switch back to a lighthearted tone is incredibly jarring, because you cannot forget for a SECOND that were only here because everyone else is dead. its trying so hard to escape from that legacy, but its impossible.

but when it embraces the fact that it season two is over and sets on doing its own thing, it shines. ALL the best g1 episodes are from season 3. the new cast is a lot smaller than the previous one, which gives each of them room to breathe and be individuals. arcee and springer and ultra magnus and rodimus are SO much more distinct than any of the countless generic autobots from the first two seasons. they do something absolutely incredible with rodimus that they dont do with any other character in the show: they give him a character arc. hes not just generically heroic, hes often an asshole! its a theme throughout the season how he doesnt want to be a leader because he misses the carefree fun of being hot rod. he has to Learn and Grow and yeah its nothing Groundbreaking but i love it!!! i know theres no timeline where this is the case, but i wish optimus wasnt revived. rodimus finally completed his arc it was awesome

the rest of g1 - season one is a strange watch. they were yet to figure out what the show was gonna be like, and it shows. it feels like the uncanny valley of cartoons, everythings just slightly off. theres some good episodes, but overall it hadnt quite found its footing yet

"season four" is barely worth mentioning. it exists to set up headmasters, and it does its job perfectly well. its certainly an achievement to introduce about thirty new characters in the span of like five minutes! i really hate how hot rods character arc from season three has been completely undone, as though theyre trying to forget he was ever rodimus. he never even interacts with ultra magnus, which is EVIL! they were BEST FRIENDS!!!

exodus - it had a strong start, but felt very rushed towards the end. i actually really love its take on starscream, hes closer to idw prowl than any other version of starscream ive seen (but he comes across much nicer because hes surrounded by people worse than him.) i respect how gay megatron and optimus were and also megatron and starscream. i also respect it for paving the way for better versions of this backstory and for using the cybertronian term "mechanometers"

earthspark (season 1) - everyone said it was so good. everyone told me "the second and third seasons of earthspark are awful but the first is peak." they told me this and i believed them. like a FOOL! what absolutely enrages me about earthspark is that it so easily couldve been amazing.

when im thinking of my favourite versions of characters, Invariably earthsparks are at the top of the list. every pre-existing transformer is done SO well! i especially love elita, though she had about two minutes of screentime they were a lovely two minutes. cards on the table, i generally Really dislike bumblebee. in most continuities i find him very annoying, made only worse by the fact hes Everywhere. and yknow what earthspark did? they made a version of bumblebee i LOVE. and dont even get me started on megs and optimus!! and a lot of the new characters arent bad! i LOOOOVE twitch and nightshade with my whole heart, they deserve to be in a better show!! and every now and again, the stars align and earthspark has an episode where everything just Works. for some reason, some unknowable reason, earthspark keeps randomly having Really REALLY Good Individual Episodes.

earthspark manages to craft such an intruiguing world full of amazing characters and then not do ANYTHING with them. because the show isnt about its fun characters, and it isnt about exploring an earth decades after the cybertronian war, its about how awesome and cool the nuclear family is. every few seconds, a character must turn directly to the camera and say "wow i love being in a Family. Family is so good." you do not get to learn about the characters in any substantial way, because only ten episodes in theyre already adding THREE new terrans to the main cast, bringing our total number of main characters to SEVEN. and this show does not have the skill to make seven well-rounded, three-dimensional characters, so the main cast just feels hollow and underdeveloped. they dont trust their writing to convey their themes and messages, so they just have characters say them at the audience at every opportunity.

and i WANT to give earthspark the benefit of the doubt. because so many people love it! of course its going to be on-the-nose, its a kids show! of course its not gonna focus on the pre-existing transformers, its not about them its about the maltos! but the thing is i cant say that in good faith, because theres transformers media i really like thats aimed at younger kids and focuses more on humans! i must bring up the energon universe specifically. i adore void rivals, which, just like earthspark, uses transformers worldbuilding as background to the main non-transformers plot. i also adore the main transformers comic, which has a central theme of family and also has very important human characters. and though i tend to prefer transformers media aimed at an older audience, i dont inherently dislike stuff made for younger children (also the "older audience" in question here is like a max of fifteen, its ALL kids media!) so i cant just write my dislike of earthspark off as it not being for me and move on with my life. this show is Bad and im so confused why everyone likes it.

rise of the beasts - i think this might be the only case of a transformers thing being only good until the transformers are introduced?? the start getting to know the human characters was wonderful, and mirages introduction was a delight! i LOVE rotb mirage!!!! i was sooo excited that we mightve had Two good films in a row. alas, the rest was a disappointment.

bayverse (tf 2007 - tlk) - do i even need to write anything? come the fuck on. they started off awful and they only got worse and worse and worse... i remember during age of extinction just. collapsing on the floor of my friends room as she blasted the soundtrack to the 86 film. i wish i could unwatch these films and also catapult michael bay into the sun